Great One Liners..

Should women have children after 35?
No, 35 children are more than enough!---------------

No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening..----------------;

Living on Earth may be expensive, but itincludes an annual free trip around the Sun..-----------

Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep !----------------

ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY
So what ? Who's in a hurry ?-----------------

Work fascinates me I can look at it for hours !------------------

Love is photogenic;
It needs darkness to develop----------------

A good discussion is like a miniskirt;
Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject-----------------

Children in backseats cause accidents;
Accidents in backseats cause children !------------------

Do you know of a Sardar who parked his car infront of board which said
FINE FOR PARKING-----------------

A drunk was hauled into court. Mister, the judge began," you've been brought here for drinking.
"Great, the drunk exclaimed." When do we getstarted?"-----------------

Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting..-----------------

Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different..----

When a wife was asked: What book do you like thebest?
She answers: My husband's cheque book..----------------

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.----------------

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?----------------

My father is so old that when he was in school,history was called current affairs.----------------

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating adonkey and stopped him, what virtue would I beShowing?
Student: Brotherly love.-----------------

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a goodcook.------------------

Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!--------------------

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports's car around it.--------------------

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" isexactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!--------------------

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.--------------------

Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, doyou?---------------------

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!--------------------

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it withinthree days, you can keep it.-------------------

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!